Tillman's Roadhouse

Where: 324 W. 7th Street, Dallas (in the Bishop Arts district)

Menu:  http://www.tillmansroadhouse.com/eats_dallas_lunch.html

What:  Farewell lunch for friends

Scene:  Take Anna Nicole Smith's aesthetic.  Now make it more rustic.  Then, double-dip it in (even more) Texas.  Add just a dash of Hollywood's India and some of your grandmother's tchotchkes.  Finally, approach all of that with an Oscar Wilde-ean sense of wit and appreciation for the absurd.  Ok, now you're close. 

Visually, this place is fascinating.  It has over-the-top crystal chandeliers.  Wooden carvings of deer and elk heads on the walls.  Morrocan-style throw pillows on the bench seat that lines the wall...and a thousand other details to grab your eye.

Although you get some noise from the kitchen (not unpleasant), it's a relatively quiet restaurant.  I think they play music, but if so, it's unobtrusive.

The Drinks:
Order the coffee.  Seriously.  The brew is fantastic, it's steaming hot, and the witty, kitschy presentation makes a normal cup of coffee seem like an experience.  The coffee is served on a small silver tray in what appears to be an insulated, clear, stemless wine glass.  It comes with creamer served in a cow.  You grab the cow by the tail and pour the creamer from it's mouth. 

Also on the list:  any of the rotating homeade lemonades.  They are guaranteed to be too sweet, but you'll drink it anyway, and like it.  It makes you feel like a kid again.

The Food:
Let me start this out with a warning:  Save room for dessert.  Even if you aren't a "dessert person," save room.  They have tableside s'mores, done up right.  The chocolate is sinfully dark, the homemade marshmallows (maple, coffee, and orange flavored) are somehow dense and light at the same time, and the homemade graham crackers are pure cinnamon-sugar goodness.  I like to bring home leftovers, do some urban camping, and cook them over the burner on my stove.  It's the small things.

It may or may not be difficult to comply with the warning, depending on what you order.  For example, I'd recommend the enormous burger, the grilled cheese (served with a rotating selection of soups), and the trio of fries.  I would avoid the bbq salmon salad -- it tastes like it's covered in red hots and kraft bbq sauce--and the house smoked turkey sandwich--drier, tougher, and smokier than a seedy nightclub in Paris circa 1972. 

I haven't figured out any rhyme or reason to the menu.  Some things work, some don't, and it seems trial and error is the only way to go.  I have been meaning to try the venison frito pie, but I always chicken out last minute and go for something less overwhelming.

Bonus:
The warm, oh-so-salty potato chips, served in an iron ladle, plunked on your table at the start of the meal (and refilled on request!)

Damage:  Lunch, drink, and dessert for ~$16.

Overall:  I don't always love the mains, but I'll keep going back to soak up the kitsch and munch on the s'mores

Later,
The U.E.